MJ_Raven

This week has been genuinely rough for me in so many ways. I’m not entirely sure how to describe it all, but I have been stretching and growing as a person these last couple of months. I can’t recall when I was pushed and pulled so much in so little time. God and the universe have shown me how much more vital and worthy I am for amazingly great things in life! Despite my confidence and swagger, there are many times when I feel unworthy of anything good in my life. It doesn’t matter if it’s people, stuff, my home, or even just feeling valuable and knowing my true purpose at times. As a result, my goals in life have been so miniscule. Most days of my life, especially after my divorce, I have only had the goal to survive, just to make it to the next day, if I’m even meant to be here still. My divorce wrecked me in every way, and I did not feel loved, even by family at times; I have had so many days when I wanted nothing to do with life at all. This last year I have also realized just how ...

There are many days when I STILL just want to die after all that has happened in my life. Yet somehow, Jesus continues to give me joy, strength, and breath in my lungs, thereby fascilitating a reason and purpose for my life on this Earth. It's not all bad because I do have an amazing son who is my greatest blessing in this world! The times when he drives me nuts are still great because I love him so much and wouldn't exchange him for anything else in this world! The difficulty is in dealing with a constant pain and sorrow over what I have lost. God's word talks about marriage being two people becoming one and for me there is no longer a one, because it has been destroyed, ripped apart, decimated into utter oblivion. I would much rather lose a limb than to have to endure this pain I feel everyday. The pain of my soul being torn in two, at least that's what it feels like. For some reason, God has continually given me lots of love towards this person. The same love that ...

I have not used this blogging site for quite some time. One, because life has become insanely busy. Two, because I have not been as interested in writing poetry or much else until recently. And well, I have had so many other websites that I could write on along with this one. I realized today that I need to simplify all of it, for my sake and for the sake of the woman I love. Why do we need to have so many DIFFERENT websites for communicating? I realize that I have become one of the many people who got hooked on using the web for this kind of thing when it was becoming big in the late 90s. I do not find that to be any excuse for joining how many sites all at once? Even if I joined one just to check it out, I can not find a better waste of my time than that. It is utterly ridiculous! So, I will now only have this website for blogging my thoughts on and for writing poetry and Facebook, for networking purposes mostly. I hate the drama the net is causing me and the woman I love a...

I will be back With a nack Of writing words Some quite absurd And others intriguing Know what I mean? I'm back on the scene Isn't that keen? Enough of the cheese lines Time for some better rhymes. I will be posting more And more words For you to adore. And it hurts me to say I have nothing new today. Happy Valentine's Day!!!

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried: Quietly, patiently, lovingly God replied. I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate, And the Master so gently said, “Child, you must wait.” “Wait? You say, wait!” my indignant reply. “Lord, I need answers, I need to know why! Is your hand shortened? Or have You not heard? By Faith, I have asked, and am claiming Your Word. My future and all to which I can relate Hangs in the balance, and YOU tell me to WAIT? I’m needing a ‘yes,’ a go-ahead sign, Or even a ‘no’ to which I can resign. And Lord, You promised that if we believe We need but to ask, and we shall receive. And Lord, I’ve been asking, and this is my cry: I’m weary of asking! I need a reply!” Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate As my Master replied once again, “You must wait.” So, I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut And grumbled to God, “So, I’m waiting … for what?” He seemed, then, to kneel and His eyes wept with mine, And He tenderly said, “I could give you a sign. I cou...

The thorn is deep. Out of the wound, it seeps. My blood, flowing freely. His blood, He shed for me. The thorn causes pain. Will He die in vain? I must take a stand, While I hold His hand. The thorn is inside. Consumes all my pride. Reveals what I hide. The life two people know, Something I do not show. The thorn seeks to destroy. To take all my joy, Causing pain and sorrow. Just God, me and shadow. The thorn is always there, Piercing my skin bare. My soul, naked and raw. My heart is in awe. The thorn I will embrace, Even to my disgrace. See through heaven's eyes, Destroying all my lies. The thorn is my cross. Daily I must bear it. All my life, it will cost, For this love, to share it. The thorn is a blessing. My life is never the same, Constant pain, scorn and shame. God likes to keep us guessing...